My name is Jaymes Lauser. I am human. I am a servant and saint of the Creator and Lover of the universe, Yeshua son of Yahweh. As such I have both the duty and privilege to live out His transcendent and sacred Law and also a personal calling and purpose of the highest order – a Way and a Why. By coincidence, I also uniquely have a wye in my first name. I am Jaymes-with-a-wye… with a Why… Whythawye.
I am: a broken, radically devout, and pious Christian pandenominationalist and transhumanist, an inveterate wordsmith, a stigmatized pariah, a hard-core libertarian, a self-taught omninerd, a sheltered and homeschooled oldest-of-eight, a frugal and practical technophile, a rapturous bibliophile, a voracious bookworm (yes, they are different, and yes, I am both – emphatically), an aspiring author of fantasy, science fiction, and other eccentric musings, an addicted conlanger, a practiced speechwriter, an eloquent public speaker, a knowledgeable apologist, a prolific social media curator, a compulsive designer, a natural coder, a reasonably fit health nut, and a never-ending student of all things except sports and celebrity gossip.
Beyond and/or due to all that, I am interested in:
- the Bible, hermeneutics, and practical theology;
- large family logistics;
- communication, speech-writing, and public speaking;
- biblical principles of government, political science, libertarianism, anarchism, and the rise of the market-state;
- lexicology, language, and linguistics, specifically language construction and the study of Esperanto, ASL, Hebrew, Greek, and Irish Gaelic;
- fantasy, science fiction, speculative fiction, and futurist novels, as well as intellectually revolutionary or spiritually life-transforming non-fiction of all types;
- marketing, networking, social media, and content curation;
- all things beautiful in any medium and the designing of them;
- recreational mathematics, materials science, logic, philosophy, creation science apologetics, and other sorts of investigations into this universe and its nature;
- culture, behavioral science, human motivation, neuroplasticity, personality typing, and the efficacy of crowd-sourcing;
- genetics, nanotechnology, robotics, artificial intelligence, and the coming Singularity;
- societal collapse, partial or total, its accompanying apocalyptic triggers, and preparation for it;
- natural foods, naturopathy, health, and fitness;
- Gracie Jiu-jitsu, and other forms of self-defense;
- cooking in diverse and imaginary ethnic cuisines and other creative culinary arts;
- board games, role-playing games, trading card games, and other cerebral games;
- and all other things…
- except for sports and celebrity gossip.
In a word – I am an omnicuriousist. [Which gets me into trouble at times.]
That’s the short answer to who I am. But really, those words are all just beads strung together on a thread, an attribute list which barely describes me and definitively doesn’t define me. What you really need in order to understand where I’m coming from with the stuff I say and the things I do and the ambitions I hold – is the story. My story.
One of the greatest gifts my God has ever given me is the privilege to have been born into the family He placed me in. Due to a tradition on my father’s side, each of us boys has as our middle name our father’s first name. Hence, I bear my father’s full name within my own: Jaymes Darren Lauser. This is an honor and a precious one, to me. My upbringing and my family culture fashioned and molded me into a shape I am proud of and grateful for.
But it wasn’t always that way.
I grew up as a home-schooled youth. My primary education from a very early age was built around maintaining and developing both a love for learning and skill in learning. From there I branched out into multifarious interests and areas of study (mostly literature and the writing craft, but computer software, the world of nature, theology and apologetics, and some particle physics were thrown in on the side). My family’s entire life was built around Scripture and sanctity from the world. Sheltered doesn’t even begin to describe it – censorship was a way of life. I wish I could say I loved it, because it was a beautiful way to grow up. We may often be castigated for our choices, in particular because of what came later, but for all the mistakes and errors and faults I and my parents fell prey to in my childhood years – our way of life was not one of them.
I rebelled, from a very early age. I professed salvation at age seven, like so many young children do in families like mine. And I do not discount or disparage or cast doubt on any of the others by saying that mine was not sincere. I had a knowledge of God, but it was a Pharisaical knowledge at best. I could recite the gospel and I believed it firmly – with my intellect. It was a part of my elitist and arrogant facade I used to shroud myself in. Intellectual belief is critical to salvation, but it is not the whole of it, by far. I was fighting in the spiritual war, forsooth, but it was on the wrong side. I hated righteousness, unless it was self-righteousness. I was selfish, passionately and radically and stubbornly so. I was a fool. And I made a fool’s mistakes.
It was one of these mistakes which led to the shivering of my mask. I was unveiled and exposed and my facade was obliviated. I hurt a great many people a very great deal, directly and indirectly. I betrayed their trust and violated their confidence in me and in my family. This was when I was seventeen, two years after my actual sin, which happened when I was fifteen. This was also when God broke me, and I learned what true contrition and repentance were.
For the first time in my life I prayed not for myself, but for those I’d hurt. I prayed for their healing and peace, heedless of the cost to me. It was in this internal shift away from my monstrous chronic selfishness that my true salvation began. My heart finally yielded to God, having been shown by His Spirit the epic gravity of my sin and the horror of it itself, rather than the inconvenience of the consequences.
When I then humbled myself and prostrated my soul in surrender to my Maker, the re-making finally began. I… fear to resort to clichés to describe what it was like. But it was truly like night and day. Scripture is right when it says that God takes out our heart of stone and gives us a heart of flesh, that He takes away our death and gives us life. I was, and am, a new creation. I don’t even empathize with the old me – he is like a different person entirely, a stranger to me. And all those lessons which my parents had so diligently and patiently and lovingly offered me, only to be spurned all those years long? They all came back like the onrushing tide, filling my aching, thirsty, newborn heart. It was as if God has in His mercy given me back all those years wasted in rebellion – the years the locusts had eaten.
But the consequences were still quite real in this world. Even if my spiritual condition was entirely revolutionized. Reconciliation was not to be had, despite our efforts, and we ended up leaving the State as a result.
I went to a boy’s home in Tennessee: the Shenandoah Boy’s Ranch. The nine months I spent there were among the best in my life. The regenerating power of Messiah was still working through me, and the severance from my old habits and ways was assisted by the complete change of environment. I was able to devote myself utterly to self-examination and re-writing myself and my nature from the ground up, from the inside out. I rebuilt my psyche from scratch during that time, yielding to God’s master hands fashioning me as clay.
At age eighteen I and my family immigrated to Ireland from the States. We had been planning to move there for many years, and the paperwork and obstacles were finally paved smooth for our exodus. So many miracles and blessings of providence happened during that time, it was a joy to be alive for it all. I was out of the Ranch by that time, and was enrolled in a correspondence therapy course from Steve Gallagher’s Pure Life Ministries, called the Overcomers At Home program. It was an amazing and edifying experience, training me in the new standard of character I was developing and in the purging from my life of all my old perversions and addictions to sin.
Soon after this, I flew back to the States for a short vacation, with high hopes and aspirations, my head full of joyous anticipations and intricate plans (very orderly and thorough, outlining immediate, short-term, mid-term, and long-term goals and their cohesive vision).
On January 20th, 2012, I landed in Florida and was arrested on the plane. I was taken to Orange County Jail and held for extradition to Washington. I never even got to see the family I had come to see and who had driven up to meet me. I hadn’t even known there were charges against me.
On May 16th, 2012, I was found guilty of a felony. On September 27th, 2012, I was sentenced to five years in prison.
What happened during those five years, the things I learned, the person I grew into, the blessing it ended up becoming, are some of the topics I will be discussing in this blog. But in short, I determined to use those five years productively by investing my time. I refused to let my mistakes be repeated or determine my identity, and used my incarceration time as a launching pad instead of letting it be a debilitating setback. True to my upbringing, I pursued a self-education plan, devouring hundreds of books and becoming prominently active in as many beneficial programs and ministries as I could.
For example, I invested my time heavily into Toastmasters International, earning my Competent Leader and Advanced Communicator Silver awards and assisting as temporary Secretary and Vice President of Education. I also finished the 12-step Celebrate Recovery program and served as its Small Groups Coordinator. I also got the opportunity to mentor to many individuals and impact a great many lives and bring a fresh and unique (or at least rare) perspective to prison life.
On October 26th, 2016, I was released. I am now free. Of a sort. I am still under the dominion of the Department of Corrections as long as I am on Community Custody, which may be for another three years if God doesn’t miraculously shorten that time. In the meantime I have a great many restrictions and barriers which make life challenging, to say the least. But God is blessing and providing superlatively, and I am not concerned about my future. I am at peace. I am still surrendered to God’s will and way, and I am happy to be so.
Thus is my testimony, thus far. If you want to continue to hear my story, about pandenominationalism, Christian transhumanism, what in the world an omni-gneekerd or omnicuriousist is, what the culture shocks of Ireland, prison, release, and being a sheltered homeschooler in this whole chaotic mess is like, what my sigil (the Celtic Cross inside the Star of David with the mottoes inscribed within and without) means and where it came from, what I’m planning to do in the future, and all of that, then check out my blog. I have so much to say, from all the things I’ve seen and experienced. Be careful I don’t talk your ear off.
But, welcome to my life. Please drop me a line. I want to hear your questions. I haven’t covered all the information by far, and I’m sure you noticed that. Some are left for upcoming blog posts, some I don’t mind sharing with you in private if you are so inclined to be curious. Don’t be afraid to ask.
May Yahweh bless you and yours with His divine peace and mercy and grace.