Why Keep Hoping

“Why do I keep going?”

It’s something that people have asked me multiple times in different points of my life after they see things that I’ve gone through, things that I’ve lost, disappointments — shipwrecked dreams, loves severed. Why do I keep going? How do I keep smiling, keep trying again? How do I get back up and just keep trudging on? How do I still enjoy and keep my focus on the things which are still pleasurable?

Continue reading “Why Keep Hoping”

Pandenominationalism Part Two: Personal History and Testimony

I sat in my seat, staring out the window at the night, my insides consumed with nervousness, the van filled with silence. My father drove, I sat. We both knew we were about to have a conversation that would be hard, serious, and awkward. I was terrified. I knew what I wanted to say, but I didn’t know if I would be able to. Or how he would take it. How he would respond.

This was the first time I’d disagreed with him. And I had no clue what that meant or what happened next.
Continue reading “Pandenominationalism Part Two: Personal History and Testimony”

Raising Standards to Their Achievability: an Innovation in Accountability

Battered, not shining.
Battered, not shining.

I have fought all my saved life against persistent, nearly unflagging temptation. When your primary struggle is with lust, there is rarely respite. Those few days where you go hours without having a single wayward thought try to tug you down the wrong path are like cool breaths of fresh air. You cling to those days and thank God for them as precious gifts, for they are rare. Because there are also those days where every other thought, like a pulsing siren alarm, is an overwhelming appetite, a desperate and ravenous hunger for the illicit. There have been days I physically shook from the strain, sweating, unable to focus on anything but the immediate battle that was waging inside myself.

More often than not, if the battle gets that intense, there are few avenues for escape. And shamefully often, the end result is another tick against myself, another battle lost. Another confession which must needs be made.
Continue reading “Raising Standards to Their Achievability: an Innovation in Accountability”

Comfort Zones: Good, and Sinful

Comfort zones are good, and helpful; they help us to be efficient in our lives. They help us to be able to know what to expect, to know what needs to be done, and be able to plan for those ends. Comfort zones are where habits, routines, plans, and lifestyles live. They free mental space for us to be able to think creatively about other things, without having to worry about what hand you brush your teeth with. Also, by establishing a norm they help us to recognize patterns, so we can notice danger when those patterns are broken. And so the threat response to having a comfort zone encroached upon is both legitimate, and healthy. When mastered, comfort zones can be used to establish healthy routines in our lives, and become tools to master the way we live and make our time more effective and profitable. This is why God designed comfort zones into how our biological and cerebral makeup function in the first place, of course.

Continue reading “Comfort Zones: Good, and Sinful”